"It would take an astonishing human for me to even consider getting back into a relationship. It would take something really, really, really, really different—a kind of a one-in-a-million person for me to face all that. I don’t have any kind of idea who I’d want to be with, because I don’t have any pieces missing from my life right now. I’m not looking for anything to complete. I think that’s a nice place to be."
Me: mom, dad, this is my girlfriend Eve
Mom: the fuck I thought you had a boyfriend
Dad: the Bible said Adam and Eve, not gay is okay
Me: wait for my surprise
Mom: another one
Dad: what surprise
*a guy walks in*
Me: this is my boyfriend Adam
Parents: …
Me: do you get it, Adam and Eve hahaha, Adam and Eve
Parents: no
Me: but the Bible said
